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Echoing crickets call under the starry field;
      more points of inspiration fill this sky then any man can count,
           some brighter, some imperfectly complete.

Searching, one leathery hunter flaps by me,
      snatching at treasures fluttering near my writing light;
            life makes death, so that death preserves life.

Full yellow moon winking at our tainted world
      threw a hearty pine, a green silhouette, cutout against the sky;
          a photographer’s masterpiece, no camera in sight.

You don’t get true night like these at home;
       gunshots and freeways for your ears, followed by fireworks,
             three stars and a nice thick smog for your eyes,
            
Captivated beneath this speckled dome,
      trying desperately to reach the faultless achievement,
          I stand here on this, my cut down tree, fighting.

And tomorrow I go home, thank god.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:icondirc:

Author's Comments

I actually did this during my summer vacation, but didn't feel I got it right till just recently.

and as you can see there's no title yet, that's just the number of pieces that came before it, and no not all of them are here yet, because some aren't worth it.

Comments


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:iconicen:
I like the title. It's sort of...random and doesn't make sense with the poem. I think it makes people think...

All I can say is that I love the rhythm and flow of this poem...I really have no advanced critique for you because...well...I'm not a poet. ^^;

:heart:

--
And all the tears that we have cried will suck back in our eyes...
:icondirc:
s'ok it kinda sucks anyway

--
Woooooooow... let me rephrase that: Woooooooow

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
- A. Einstein
:iconicen:
No it doesn't! I like it.

--
And all the tears that we have cried will suck back in our eyes...
:icondirc:
if you say so, hun

--
Woooooooow... let me rephrase that: Woooooooow

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
- A. Einstein
:iconninasama:
I love it. It kinda reminds me of living here in San Fran... People always ask me, "Aren't you glad you moved here?" and I'm like "No..." Because home is home. Well maybe you were being sarcastic? I dunno? I'm not good at talking about poetry because I'm a horrid poet. I just know that I like how your writing makes me feel.

--
iku iku gyuuniku!
:icondirc:
and how does it make you feel, pray tell?

and no honestly it's fun to visit other places and you can love them, but home... tis hard to replace, you comfertable the second you arrive, and more relaxed.

--
Woooooooow... let me rephrase that: Woooooooow

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
- A. Einstein
:iconninasama:
Hmmm... I think I've said it before... It makes me feel like you're saying things I couldn't say myself because I couldn't put the words together so eloquently and such... I don't know how to explain it... but it's a good thing.

--
iku iku gyuuniku!
:icondirc:
thank you

--
Woooooooow... let me rephrase that: Woooooooow

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
- A. Einstein
:iconknivesofromance:
You were homesick huh? =(

--
Shame on you nigga

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December 29, 2006
1.6 KB

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